Johnson said that when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life. If CBS’s new poster campaign “Maybe it’s because you’re a Londoner” is any representation of actual Londoners, however, then give me both barrels.
Lurpak builds its empire
No, that’s right, they were built on racism, slavery and ruthless exploitation. But don’t worry about that, prole, just eat your fucking toast and buy our butter.
Filed under media, Uncategorized
The BSkyB deal is just history repeating itself
The Sky really is the limit for Old Rupert
Jeremy Hunt (say it carefully, now) today announced that Rupert Murdoch is to be allowed to complete the purchase of BSkyB.
“Wait, no!” I hear you cry. Surely not? Surely the biggest threat to media plurality since, I don’t know, the last time Murdoch persuaded a Conservative government (sorry Nick, it’s just not even worth pretending anymore) to bend the rules in his favour, hasn’t been allowed to go through?
Beware of the badger, Ofcom
Hello and welcome to Media Bastard, brought to you in part by Crook, Charlatan & Shyster – providers of finest quality badgers. (NB, CC&S absolves all responsibility for fate of badger post-purchase and strongly opposes badger-baiting in all manifestations because the nice men at Carter-Ruck told us so.)
So it’s finally happened, Media Bastard has sealed a sponsorship deal! But don’t worry, the editorial integrity of this publication is in no way affected by any commercial deals struck on its behalf. We’ve always thought that integrity is like a badger – you should only buy it from the most reputable of providers.
Filed under media, satire, Uncategorized
Are Facebook going to sue the Daily Mail?
Social networks: the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything
You could be forgiven for thinking that social media have become the panacea for all 21st-century woes. According to Techcrunch, Egyptians are naming their children Facebook in honour of the social network’s impact on the removal of Hosni Mubarak, and a few months ago people began changing their profile pictures to cartoon characters in a slacktivist campaign against child abuse, which spawned some rather amusing parodies.
As we speak, rumours abound that Jesus Christ himself is planning his second coming via the medium of Bebo (the guy still has a hipster beard and wears sandles, don’t expect him to be 100% on-trend…) Continue reading
Filed under media
What they did next: 5 ways that publishers can respond to Apple’s new subscription measures
So it’s finally happened, Apple have gone for their big old bite of the news pie. They’ve shaken the tree, they’ve been scrumping, they’re having cider with your wife (Rosie?) and then trying to bed her and charge you 30% of your household income for the privilege. They’ve… I’ve run out of Apple puns. Or punnets, if you will. No, really, that’s enough of that.
Which is is exactly what many publishers around the world are presumably saying as we speak, while they scratch their heads and work out how they’re going to keep flogging their wares via the world’s most successful and profitable tablet/mobile app platform.
Filed under Uncategorized
The breathtaking audacity of Nuts magazine
Nuts: For men who don't know better
You know that feeling you get when a fat person squeezed into clothes three sizes too small bemoans somebody else’s greed? That feeling that makes you want to skin them and drag them through salt? Yea, that feeling.
Well, Media Bastard got that feeling today after receiving a breathtakingly audacious press release from Nuts magazine, a publication that makes Spartan civilization look like a feminist utopia.
The press release told MB in no uncertain terms that Nuts magazine, far from being a wank-rag for knuckle-dragging neanderthals, “celebrates” women. This from a magazine that “celebrates” jokes along the lines of the following:
“What’s the definition of an ideal woman? A deaf, dumb, 34DD Swedish blonde, nymphomaniac blow-job queen with a flat head to rest your pint on.”
Had Andrea Dworkin lived, she would surely be a subscriber.
This rancid little press release is nothing more than an opportunistic attempt to cash in on the Richard Keys/Andy Gray controversy. Then again, Nuts has been cashing in on sexism for years.
The full release is included below, try not to vomit:
Nuts editor-at-large Pete Cashmore: “As the leaders in the sphere known by many as ‘lads’ mags’, we at Nuts magazine would like to condemn, in no uncertain terms, Richard Keys’ comments yesterday that his recently-leaked behaviour constitutes examples of ‘lads’ mag humour’.
Quite why Mr Keys thinks this way is unclear to us – we would, for example, never speak of “smashing” a woman or referring to her as an “it”, and welcome the presence of our sisters on the sidelines of our nation’s football matches. At Nuts, we do not seek to insult or denigrate women; instead, we believe that we celebrate them, their beauty, wit and intelligence.
If there is a target of ridicule in Nuts, it is ourselves and our manifest lack of the aforementioned three qualities. We can only assume that, if Mr Keys seeks to in any way equate his own attitudes with our own, then he must not be a Nuts reader, and on the evidence of the last few days, we’re quite happy that this is the case.
If, however, Mr Keys would like to spend his newly-acquired free time gaining an understanding of what DOES constitute lads’ mag humour, he could do worse than purchase next week’s copy of Nuts and enjoy the numerous cartoons, picture captions, photo-shopped images and jokes that we are going to be making at his expense.”
